Thursday, June 9, 2011

So You're Probably Asking Yourself By Now.....

What else does this guy like? What does he know? Why does he think he's so goddamned smarter than us?

Well, like most guys I like sports. But not necessarily sports you might expect. I love me some soccer - Sounders till I die! - and I love rugby, even played for a few years, down in Olympia with Budd Bay RFC. Not that I was any good at it. I was placed out at the wingback positions (#11 or #14 - the positions are strictly numbered in rugby, with the forwards being numbers 1 -8, and the backs wearing 9 - 15, while the substitutes wear 16 - 22), mostly to keep me out of the way. I liked to joke that I was 'the Les Nessman of rugby' (and if you caught the reference - good for you!) because I was just that bad at it, though I loved the camaraderie of it all, and still do.

I like other sports too, your usual stuff, though I hate the NBA - fuck them right in Darth Stern's puckered old asshole. After what he and his buttmonkey Clay Bennett did to Seattle, fuck 'em all. The IRL Major League, with only Charlie Sheen and his Buddy Holly glasses and shitty haircut missing. Not to mention the happy ending. Well, it looks like there will be quite a lengthy lockout after their collective-bargaining agreement with their player's union expires after the season ends - owners want a 1/3 reduction in player's salaries, and the union told the owners to go fuck themselves - and I will enjoy that lockout, laughing heartily at their collectively bargained arrogance and hubris. Oh, and by the way, who are the defending WNBA champions? Seattle fucking Storm, that's who! Remember them - the team Clayboy and the Redneck Mafia didn't want, with the players that flat-out refused to move to Oklahoma? Hey Stern, FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!

Yeah, still bitter.

I like racing - just not NASCAR. If I want to see rednecks turn in circles for three hours, I'll go to a WalMart parking lot on Black Friday. Give me road-course racing - give me Formula One. They say Darlington is 'the track too tough to tame'? Well my friends, the Nurburgring Nordschliefe would beat Darlington like a bitch and take its lunch money every day of the year. So there.

I like my politics. I'm a Democrat and damn proud of it, but I'm not as liberal as either of my parents are. In some areas - like guns and the military - I'm damn near conservative. But don't lump me in with that other party. Those fools are painting themselves into a corner they'll never get out of with their phony patriotism and fake piety. And their logic is utterly mystifying - how the fuck do you pay down the debt by lowering taxes to nearly zero? You don't! They're nobody's 'patriots', they're nobody's conservatives, either. What they really are is nihilist-anarchists, or to use a more exact term, idiots. So there.

I'm not much for television anymore, All the good ideas are gone, used up, ground down into mindless pablum. Who really gives a shit about D-list celebrities ballroom-dancing or ice skating? Does a group of moronic kids from New York and New Jersey doing their level best to reinforce every negative stereotype of Italians really have to be that popular? Why are we bombarded by the random mumblings of the most mind-numbingly ignorant of people, while intelligent, intellectually stimulating shows are shunted off to god-only-knows where?

And I'm trying not to lose hope for music. As far as I'm concerned, country music died with Johnny Cash. And the pablum they show on all those simpering country-music channels polluting the dial, the surviving members of Lynyrd Skynyrd should be suing them all for back royalties. My tastes are pretty much Metal, Metal, and more Metal - it's just about the only honest music left these days, though truth be told I think my problem is more with the inflexible and stagnant corporate culture that's polluted all music than with any modern form of the art.

I think my real refuge from it all is the kitchen. I love to cook - another thing I learned far too late in life to be able to do anything meaningful with, like go to culinary school and open a restaurant or something like that. I love cooking for my family, busting out something they've never had before. One of these days, I'll get them to eat lengua - beef tongue braised for hours in Mexican herbs and spices before being chopped up and slapped into homemade corn tortillas with a little onion and cilantro. Or maybe a nice osso bucco would be in order. Or maybe my homemade pseudo chiles rellenos - I use the 'pseudo' because I wrap my roasted chiles and cheddar in egg roll wrappers instead of using an egg batter - would be nice.....

Inspiration just struck - so I've gotta go. Time to get a few things out of the freezer. We'll talk more later. I'll try not to curse so much next time. That said, if anything I said offended you, too bad. Perhaps you needed to be offended.

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